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Hello, I'm Joey Djia, a proud mother of twin daughters and an advocate for equal support for all parents. Today, I want to address an issue that often goes unnoticed – the differences in treatment experienced by singleton mothers and mothers of multiples (twin mums, triplet mothers, and beyond) during those precious early months of parenthood. This is something I discuss in my sleep training Ebook 'Gentle Sleep Training Success'.
Parenthood is a beautiful journey, but it can also be incredibly challenging, especially when it comes to feeding schedules and sleep training. It's time to have an open conversation about the stereotypes that surround these two groups of mothers. Why are singleton mothers often burdened with guilt, while multiple mothers receive a little more grace?
The Guilt on Singleton Mums:
When you're a mother of a singleton, you might find yourself under intense scrutiny when it comes to feeding and sleep routines. I've witnessed friends and sisters, who had one baby at a time, express their desire to implement a structured feeding schedule, only to be met with disapproval and guilt-tripping from various quarters. You should demand feed! The prevailing sentiment seems to be that you should cater to your baby's every need, 24/7 or you're shamed.
Yet, sleep and feeding routines can be essential for both babies and parents, as they provide predictability and rest in a world where unpredictability reigns. Singleton mums should not be judged for seeking to establish a routine that can benefit their child and themselves.
Check out my Ebook here.
The Grace on Multiple Mums:
On the other hand, mothers of multiples, like myself, are often given a little more grace when it comes to implementing feeding and sleep schedules. In fact, we were encouraged too. We were given the confidence to step away for a moment when we were incredibly overwhelmed as long as our babies were safe in their secure beds even if they were crying. People seem to understand that handling two or more infants simultaneously is a different ballgame. It's almost as if we're granted a "free pass" to establish schedules and routines and singleton mothers are not allowed to implement structure without the judgement.
The truth is, all parents should be supported in their quest for sanity and a little shut-eye. It's not just about the number of babies; it's about recognizing the importance of structure and predictability for a baby's development and a mother's well-being.
Equality for All Parents:
It's time to level the playing field. Whether you're a singleton mother, a twin mother, or have even more little ones, your needs and desires as a parent are valid. We should aim to provide equal support and understanding to all parents, irrespective of the number of babies in their arms.
My experiences as a twin mum led me to develop my Ebook, "Gentle Sleep Training Success," where I combined various approaches and styles of methods to assist my twin daughters in developing positive sleep associations. My approach encouraged them to sleep 12 hours through the night by the time they were 4 months old. This Ebook is not just for twin mums; it's for all parents who want to make sleep training a positive experience for their babies. My younger sister followed the approaches I listed and her son too went from broken sleep all night, to 11 hours of straight sleep by 3.5 months old.
Let's come together as parents and as a society to support each other's choices and decisions when it comes to raising our little ones. Let's promote equality and offer grace to all parents who are working tirelessly to provide the best for their children.
In conclusion, the road of parenthood is filled with twists and turns, but one thing remains constant – the love and dedication we have for our children. Let's stand united, break free from stereotypes, and support one another in our unique parenting journeys.
Joey Djia, Twin Mum, and Advocate for Equal Parental Support.
Click here to view my Gentle Sleep Training Success Ebook.